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He said, she said
Stuck when it comes to writing dialogue? Step away from the keyboard and listen. Hear the give and take, the rhythm of words tossed back and forth. And pay close attention to the ‘white spaces’; those important things most often left unsaid.
Written dialogue serves two purposes – to advance the plot and reflect character. If witty banter between two characters merely shows how clever you are, cut it. And if you’re reaching for a thesaurus to pluck tag lines other than ‘said’, quit it. Lewis Carroll’s the only one who’s ever pulled off ‘chortled’ anyway.
When it comes to creating effective dialogue, consider these Do’s and Don’ts.
DO know your characters
If you’d rather chew glass than repeatedly revise, know your characters inside and out before setting fingers to keyboard. Know their favorite season, if they peek at their Christmas presents, discover their secrets. This doesn’t mean you won’t learn new things about your character as you go – that should happen; it’s what makes the process fun – but if the guy’s carrying a D+ in English, don’t have him blurt out a word like ‘juxtaposition’.
DON’T keep them from changing
The conflicts he faces should lead to a change in him, however. So, as he develops, give him ample room on the page to grow. If your guy sounds or acts a bit differently by the end – as long as you’ve shown how he got there – you’ve probably done your job well.
DO let your characters tell the story
In YA fiction especially, characters will know much more than the reader at the start of a story. (That’s what keeps those teens turning the pages.) But resist the temptation to let your character spill all her secrets in the first chapter. In real life, you’d never hear a person say: “Well, Sue, the reason I don’t make friends easily is because I’ve moved quite a lot. With my dad being in the military, it seems every time I make an effort to reach out, I have to pack my things and head for another town.” That’s lazy writing. Let the character tell her own story.
And along that line…
DON’T use dialogue to tell backstory
It’s in soaps and bad movies: “But, Bob – you and Sue have been together for years, even after that horrible car accident that left you so horribly disfigured until you had that life-changing plastic surgery. How could you possibly think of leaving her now?”
While backstory is crucial, your characters shouldn’t be doing the writer’s job. You’ll need to figure a way to add it a bit at a time; otherwise information overload will kill the conversation’s authenticity.
DO move the plot along
As I said before, this is Reason #1 for using dialogue. If the phone rings while your character is expecting a call demanding ransom money, don’t have Aunt Tilly phone to complain about her bunions unless that has a direct impact on the plot. (Of course, if that’s your story, you may want to rethink the conflict a bit…) But, you could have a telemarketer or wrong number call to show how your character copes with his frustration, fear or temper as he works to free the line.
Which leads us to Reason #2 for the use of dialogue…
DO show characterization
The way we learn about people in our own lives is through their physical appearance, how they dress, the way they carry themselves and what they say. Speech patterns, dialect, repeated words, grammar are all ways to help create a character. And just as people look different, if you listen closely, they sound different as well.
“So I says to him, I says, ‘Jeremy? If you so much as look at that other girl, I’m telling Kim soon’s I get home’.”
Steve grinned. “You’re kidding.”
Jaynee shook her head. “I’ll tell you something else, too – that boy kept his eyes to hisself all night.”
“Lucky for him.”
Jaynee obviously loves gossip and her sentences are grammatically incorrect run-ons; Steve’s, however, are short and to the point. And that is my point. When your characters sound different, you don’t continually need tag lines to know who’s saying what. In a scene with two people arguing, nothing slows it more than the constant interruption of he said/she said.
DON’T go nuts with tag lines
During revision, some folks see the word ‘said’ all over the place which makes their fingers itch to find another verb. But try this instead: grab a good book and scan the tag lines…most say ‘said’, huh? You don’t notice it when you’re reading; it’s why the eye can move so quickly. If you pepper the page with something different each time, you’ll trip up your reader. And if you’re thinking of replacing ‘said’ with ‘screamed’ or ‘whispered’, see if you could have what the character says do the job instead:
“GIVE ME THE GUN NOW!”
No need for tagging ‘he screamed’ after that. The capital letters, italics and exclamation point do the job. And as for ‘whispering’, have your character say,
“I don’t think I can do this.”
“What?”
She cleared her throat and looked at him. “I said, I can’t do this.”
The last word…
Do be realistic, but not real. In reality, people stutter. They hesitate, say ‘um’ and ‘like’ a lot, repeat themselves, lose their train of thought. Unless those speech patterns reflect a character or advance the plot, dump ‘em. Listen to the language around you, but be precise in the words you choose. Real dialogue can be boring, sometimes painful to hear. But clean, realistic dialogue will have your reader scanning the page, witnessing your characters come alive.
All speeches and articles are copyrighted by, and are the property of, Laurie Thurston, and may not be reprinted without permission of the author.